Trump Promises More Bombs

In another unsurprising turn in the war in Iran, since our pathetic government can't solve the problem they started with any sort of grand diplomatic breakthrough, our Cry-Baby in Chief took it into his own chubby hands by calling into Fox & Friends at 7:00 AM and threatening to “bomb the s*** out of Oman” a peaceful neutral nation that has been acting as your primary diplomatic backchannel.

As of today, the formal 60-day Memorandum of Understanding with Iran has expired, leaving Washington with precisely the same grand strategic resolution as a toddler who just threw their juice box at the wall: zero progress, high operational costs, and a sticky mess all over the floor.

Rather than pivoting to a masterclass in geopolitical leverage, President Donald Trump has spent the morning taking to the airwaves to announce that if Oman (a Gulf monarchy that has painstakingly mediated Middle Eastern diplomacy for decades) “gets in the way” of his strategy to unilaterally annex the Strait of Hormuz into a U.S. territory, we will simply carpet-bomb Muscat into submission. It is a bold lie and the kind of diplomatic nuance you’d expect from a man whose historic track record of negotiation includes going bankrupt six times, running a casino into the ground (a business model literally designed so the house always wins), and trying to sell mail-order steaks.

Let’s review the state of the board in this masterclass of foreign policy:

• The Conflict: What was framed as a quick, decisive campaign to "annihilate" opposing capabilities and force an "unconditional surrender" has instead dragged on across multiple fronts.

• The Target: Iran is currently sitting at the negotiating table, calmly mapping out transit routes through the Strait of Hormuz alongside Oman, the exact diplomatic framework explicitly outlined in the June MOU.

• The Response: President Trump declared on air that he is in “no hurry” to end the war, noting with classic dealmaking savvy that the Iranians are “good poker players, but they’re dying.” He added, for good measure, that the weapons used so far are just "peanuts" compared to our array of "mid-level weapons."

Nothing projects military dominance quite like reassuring global financial markets that your grand plan involves firing off "mid-level" munitions on a totally indefinite timetable while the world’s most crucial oil transit choke point remains in absolute paralysis.

The Circle of Blame Closes In

When a foreign policy initiative collapses into an endless energy crisis and an international game of chicken, a standard administration typically turns to intelligence briefings or high-level summits. The current playbook, however, appears to be a rapid-fire rotation of pointing fingers at everyone within range:

• The Mediators: Oman is apparently at fault for doing the exact job of mediating that the June agreement asked them to do.

• The Allies: European partners offering defensive maritime security are treated with suspicion.

• The Military Hardware: Previous administrations are blamed for sending the "best weapons" elsewhere, leaving us to rely on our reserve stash of "peanuts."

It turns out that running a complex multi-theater conflict isn't quite as simple as slapping your name in gold leaf on a tower and letting the contractors sue each other in bankruptcy court.

The crescendo of this morning's diplomatic offensive came with the casual assertion that the U.S. will "pretty soon" simply declare the Strait of Hormuz, an international waterway bounded by sovereign Middle Eastern nations, a "Territory of the United States" much as he did with the Gulf of Mexico.

It is a vision of global real estate acquisition so absurdly simple it’s a wonder no one thought of it before. Why negotiate access to international shipping lanes when you can just claim them like an abandoned parking lot behind a failed Trump Shuttle terminal?

As the 60-day window closes with no resolution in sight, the public is left watching a masterclass in brinkmanship from a leader who seems genuinely shocked that sovereign nations with centuries of diplomatic history won't simply raise a "white flag of surrender" because he posted about it in all-caps on Truth Social. If this is what winning looks like, one can only imagine the sheer panic in the White House when someone finally hands the President a map and explains where Oman actually is.